So, yesterday I had a really bad anxiety attack. The first one was in the morning, before I saw my dad and the next one was around 2:30 p.m. They were practically textbook anxiety attacks. They lasted about twenty minutes and I was crying the entire time, unable to actually think straight. I got on the phone with the counseling center on campus and the woman on the phone told me that I could come right away, I’m assuming because of the way I sounded on the phone— which was practically incoherent.

A lot of things seemed to set off the panic attack. That morning, there was a huge rainstorm and my phone got fucked up. I had to go get a new phone and my dad was so nice and came here to pick me up and everything. But, I was an ass to him and I feel so horrible about that. And then, something that I needed for class never came in the mail and it was literally just a bad day overall. Nothing seemed to be going well and I just wanted, so desperately, for the day to end. I wanted to go to sleep and not have to worry about anything anymore.

So, whatever. I went to therapy and the counselor said a lot of interesting things. He said that anxiety attacks are your body’s way of telling you to slow the fuck down. Since you’re not going to do it, your body has to. It’s telling you that the circuits are heating up and that you need to just stop, breath and think because you can’t handle what’s going on.

So, after that little counseling session, I realized a few things:

1. I need to quit my job at Starbucks.
2. I need to stop drinking Diet Coke and start taking care of my body.
3. I need to stop caring about others more than I care about myself.
4. I need to just breathe and stop procrastinating as much.

Now, this is a small list but it’s literally going to take everything I have. So, here goes nothing.